there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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