I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
