she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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