did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
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Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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