the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
