Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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