I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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