Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
