Your face is a jimmy john
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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