Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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