just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
time to smoke my breakfast
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
