Please, let me fuck your mom
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
