Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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