So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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