I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
