Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
is that a dick in a sweater?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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