And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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