I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
