I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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