So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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