the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
