Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
