aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
