I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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