john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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