Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
