Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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