I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
