A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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