That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
