CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
