I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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