I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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