Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
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I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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