Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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