I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
