Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
