I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize