Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
