xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Houston, we have a squirter
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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