so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
