I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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