I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
