how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
