i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
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Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
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If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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