He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
