i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
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I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
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You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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