I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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