just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Randomize
