I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I will die if light touches me.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
