TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
