I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
