theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
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I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I forget how to act sober
Randomize