Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
