she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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