we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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