I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
So here I am, sexting at work.
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